\n\n

\n\nCaptain Formguide
\nCaptain Formguide has watched the last 5 races of each horse running in the Cup and compared the statistics of an empirical underlay including previous winners and overall historical returns. Basically, they’re full of shit. Usually ends up with a horse in the middle of the pack and an excuse like “mate, if my pony wasn’t boxed in it would’ve surely been the winner!”.\n

\n\nThe True Blue Punter
\nThis individual will rely on key aspects of the race to help them make their decision. Aspects that are considered include:

\n•\tThe colour of the horse
\n•\tHow funny the horses name is
\n•\tThe colours on the jockey’s silks\n

\nSomehow the True Blue Punter actually jags a winner every few years, which disappoints most individuals, especially Captain Formguide, due to the lack of thought and skill that went into the decision making process.\n

\n\nThe Feminist
\nNoticed the extravagant purchases of this lot over the past 12 months? It’s because 90% backed Prince of Penzance last year – they are deadest loaded. Make no mistake, at least 90% of them will be backing Assign this year (Kate Mallyone is jockey). You can spot this type of punter from a mile away with cries of “We girls have to stick together” or “Girl power” or more recently “You go girl!”.\n

\n\nMr. Spray and Pray
\nThis punter usually comes in the form of a male tradie or a CEO. They go to their local TAB in the morning, pick their favourite 6-10 horses and just throw their money at them. \n

\nThis process takes place in the span of about 10 minutes. The first 5 are usually spent on the pre-betting smoko, discussing betting ideas that will ultimately not be implemented when the betting actually takes place. The following 5 minutes include the selection of random horses with each of them allocated either a $20 or a $50 note.\n

\n\n\n\nSo whatever type of punter you are, it’s fair to say the Cup brings us all together. So read the tea leaves, ask your oracle, study your formguide or take a good old fashion stab in the dark. Happy Punting!\n

\n\nWritten by Nik Hatzi\n"},"complete":true}