Bills vs Rams, Broncos vs Seahawks Parlay: Teasing TNF and MNF for Week 1

Bills vs Rams, Broncos vs Seahawks Parlay: Teasing TNF and MNF for Week 1

We're home. We made it. Honestly, I always knew we'd get here. We're resilient like that. Always have been. Many are going to tell you to ease up and be conservative going into the NFL season. It's a long season and you don't want to blow your load early. Some will do that and it's fine but I'm not. The more the merrier if you ask me.

I'm more of an "F-around and find out" type. Sometimes it works out and other times it doesn't, but that's just life. It's fine. On a night like tonight, I'd say you can't have less than five wagers in your pocket and expect to get full entertainment value. You just can't. Obviously, it's tough to grab five plays from some games so you have to get creative. Lucky for us, I'm utilizing an old-school trick I learned back in the day. It works every single time. Even when it doesn't.

NFL Week 1 Teaser Bet

6-Point NFL Teaser (-120) - DraftKings (Bet $120 to win $100)

• Bills/Rams Over 46
• Broncos -.5

We're at DraftKings for this one since they have 6-point teasers for -120. Do I like paying -120 for a two-team teaser? God no but that's the best price I've seen. When I was a kid, the guy at the bar only charged -110 for these. As many as you wanted to. It was glorious but apparently, those days are gone. Still, DraftKings is better than FanDuel on this one because they wanted -134 for this banger. I can't get behind that even though this one has no chance of losing.

Teasers are as old as time and back in the day, only idiots did them. Somewhere down the line the nerds got ahold of the idea, ran some simmies on their Ti83s, and bam, the profitable teaser was born. Say what you want about the nerds but they aren't as bad as people make them out to be. If you don't know what a "teaser" is, you basically get to move the line six points either way. There are 10-point teasers, 7-point, 6.5-point, etc. It's a real shitshow if you think about it.

Obviously, we need tonight's game in our teaser because it's tonight and we need action on the game tonight. At first, I thought about the Los Angeles Rams +8.5 but after running some mental simmies, the over made more sense. It wasn't long ago that the offenses were slow to start but times have changed. Going back to 2017, the opening Thursday night game has gone over in three of the five matchups. One of those was the Green Bay Packers and Chicago bears so that one doesn't even count. Both of these offenses are good enough to keep the other one honest. We should at least see a 27-20 type game.

Now comes the fun part. Instead of trying to nail a side and total for this one, why not take the last game of the weekend and tie it together? For starters, you're going to forget you even have this bet by the time the Monday Night Football game starts. There's nothing better than forgetting about a bet you made than realizing it less than an hour before the game. So we have that. Plus, I have no idea what makes the books think Russell Wilson isn't going to go into his old building and stomp the team that wouldn't let him cook or pay him to do so. This has to be the easiest bet of all time.